No better way to start the weekend than with a Completely Stupid and Utterly Pointless workout on a Saturday morning. Thirteen indefatigable Badlanders and two of our brothers from Jacksonville showed up at 7:00 am for the inaugural 210 Workout, which consisted of a nice sunrise stroll on the State Road 210 Intracoastal Bridge and the movement of sandbags over and around said piece of infrastructure. A tip of the hat to Osteen, PUD and Bing, who had been rucking for two hours on the soft sand of the Ponte Vedra beach before making it out to the bridge — impressive. Onto the show…
The 210 Workout
- Welcome! Disclaimer. And a calling out of Air Bags and Auto, who had the cajones to tell the Badland community last night that they were planning on a bike ride after the workout. Your Humble Correspondent took that as a personal challenge (“they think they’ll be able to ride after this?!”) which led to the introduction of the Vest of Pain — more on that, shortly.
- Biblical verse. We normally talk faith at the end of the workout, but this being the 210 workout, YHC thought it appropriate to quote chapter 2, verse 10 from Revelations before the party started: “Do not be afraid of what you are about to suffer.” (YHC might have growled this while glaring at Air Bags.) YHC went on to note that the verse ties in nicely with our core value quote this month from endurance athlete Amelia Boone: “I’m not the strongest, I’m not the fastest, but I’m really good at suffering.” (YHC certainly fits those first two clauses to a tee, but has some work to do on the third…)
- Mosey to the bridge – oh, look, what a pleasant surprise! Someone left a pile of sandbags and a weight vest at the foot of the bridge! (Thx to McD and Pom Pom for help with the set-up, and a special shout-out to Double P for walking through this workout with YHC a month or so ago.)
- Hillbilly, side straddle hops, lunge pulses, all IC x 10 or so.
- Indian run to the apex of the bridge — some mumbling from the guys wearing 40 to 50-pound packs. Soooo, time to pick up the pace! Round trip, about two-thirds of a mile. Pickle pounders while waiting for the six.
- Grab a sandbag and partner up — time for some fun!
- Farmer’s walk. Partner 1 starts walking up the bridge with his sandbag and his partner’s sandbag, while partner 2 stays put and does ten merkins and ten LBCs, facing uphill. When done, P2 sprints to catch P1. They switch roles, and repeat until end of bridge. One rule: no putting bags on the shoulders while you’re walking with them; they must be held straight down or curled to the chest, aka, “the breastfeeder.” A welcome diversion: An amazing burst of pre-sunrise color in the sky in the east, with the full moon hanging on in the west. In case there was any doubt of a Higher Power…
- Piston Rows. We make it to the east side of the bridge, 0.65 miles according to YHC’s GPS watch. We need to get those bags back to the other side of the bridge, but first we need to balance our chest work with some back work. Solution: Piston rows. This being the 210 workout, the partners combine for 210 of these rows (bent over, back straight as possible, rapid-fire rows from the knees to the chest with the bags, 105 per partner).
- Now it’s time to take the bags back from whence they came. Same deal as before, farmer’s walk back to the other side of the bridge, partners alternating on carrying the bags and repeating the merkins and LBCs.
- Monkey humpers. They weren’t on YHC’s to-do list, but… It’s light now, and traffic is picking up on state road 210, so YHC figured, why not. So as cars go whizzing by, the PAX engages in 30 monkey humpers. There were no vehicular accidents, but YHC did receive unconfirmed reports from several passing drivers that upon glimpsing the gyrating PAX, their brains quickly blinded their eyes to protect their hearts. JK. But Osteen actually did receive texts from some friends who saw us out there, wondering what the hell we were doing. Gizzard was thinking the same thing, making him far and away the most rational member of the PAX on this day.
- Circle work. The PAX forms a circle. One member moves into the center, donning the weight vest, aka, the Vest of Pain. (This is for you, Air Bags!) Actually, YHC had been reflecting on November’s core value, on the need to seek out challenges that move us past what the mind thinks is possible. So the challenge was, with the weight vest on, do as many merkins as you absolutely can… and then do two more. The rest of the PAX encourages the vest-wearer on, counting his reps, and also doing a prisoner squat with each Merkin rep he knocks out. The vest was ~ 30 lbs, and each member of the PAX rocked it, pushing to their maximum, and then at the behest of their comrades, squeezed out several more. With 15 PAX and each member knocking out at least 30 merkins, the squat workout — diabolically designed to destroy the cycling plans of Air Bags and Auto! — totaled well over 450, and YHC suspects we easily cleared 500. Of course, there was a 30-second break or so between each participant as the weight vest was taken off and then put on. But good work it was. Hats off to Osteen, who donned the Vest of Pain ON TOP OF HIS OWN 30-LB PACK and crushed out 60+ (or was it even higher — it was hard to keep up with count as he was merkining so fast).
- Since YHC opened with an ominous passage from Revelations, he thought it good to close with something a bit more upbeat. Again, keeping in mind the 210 theme, we quoted Chapter 2, Verse 10, from Ephesians: “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Good works is not just us volunteering here or there; it’s about living your life the right way. Doing the right thing as a father, as a son, as a husband, as a brother. Doing it at work, at home, in our families, in our marriages. Doing the right thing when alone, and when no one will know to give you credit for it. Aye!
- Prayer request: McD has a big occupational test coming up; we prayed for clarity of thought and drive with his studying. McD also noted that as we move into the holidays, these can be tough times for families that have suffered losses. We prayed for comfort for them, and for the understanding that this temporal existence is the short run; things will be better and losses healed and families reunited in the long run. And we are thankful for the opportunity to come together and work together, to honor the Higher Power whose handiwork we are. Aye!