On this auspicious morning, Xenu and Drone conspired to throw the most grand, the most festive, the most flowery, and the most utterly eviscerating princess party the Jax Pax have ever seen. 18 pax posted, teddy bears in hand, for the occasion.
- 64 x SSH – The signature Xenu opener in honor of Barbie, who is actually 58, but we lost count.
- 20 x WonderBra (IC)
- 20 x Little Baby Arm Circles fwd/bkwd (thumbs down and bent over at 90 degrees for extra burn)
- 15 x Ballerinas (tiptoe squats)
- 20 x Figure Skaters (OYO)
The Pretty Pink Thang:
- Hungry Hippos (Xenu) – First order of business was a board game. 25 tennis balls were scattered in the middle of the field, pax count off into four teams (teams of 4 have one person go twice).
- P1 & P2 wheelbarrow to center, grab a ball, wheelbarrow back. Repeato with P2/P3, etc. until your team has five balls.
- Iron Maidens (Iron Mikes) while waiting for your turn
- Once you have five balls, team performs exercises written on balls (prisoner squats, hand release Merkins, LBCs, etc.)
- Mosey to pavilion, winning team air chairs with block, other teams take a lap carrying their teddy bears (blocks).
- Teddy Bear Tea Party (Drone) – To start, grab your teddy bear (block), bear crawl it to the middle of the field (no throwing or carrying on your back), and circle up.
- Colt 45 – 45 block curls IC (so really 90) – 15 bottom half, 15 top half, 15 full curl
- 15 x Kettle block swings (IC)
- 25 x Heavy Freddies (bicycle motion with block as far overhead as possible, ideally 6″ off ground)
- Teddy Bear Share – Partner air chair, pass the “bear” around to your partner (20x each direction)
- Mosey back to the baseline
- Partner Skip (Xenu) – Find your partner again
- P1 power skips down the field and back while P2 jumps rope
- Upon return, both partners do 10 Patty Cake Merkins
- Repeato until time runs out (~4-5 minutes)
- 10 burpees to salute the one and only San Marco Train
- Side note: If you haven’t followed @SanMarcoTrain on Twitter, you’re missing some sick burns and expert level snark in your life.
Glittery Bejeweled Moleskin:
- There was some confusion on who was the winner of Hungry Hippos, with neither team willing to admit defeat, so both teams air chaired with their teddy bears while the other two took a lap.
- Flounder wins closest unsolicited guess on Barbie’s age (“it starts with a 5 or 6”). Was it luck, or maybe a cover for deeper familiarity with the franchise than any of us want to know about?
- Mathlete wins most unpredictable Side Straddle Hop cadence for his performance during the opener. YHC estimates he did 71.4 reps in the time the rest of us did 64. No, those numbers don’t divide evenly into each other.
Xenu closed out with a quote. “You drown not by falling into a river, but by staying submerged in it.” – Paulo Coelho
If you’re in a difficult season of life and feel like you’re flailing, find a brother and reach out for help. Don’t let it get to the point where you can’t keep your head above water. If you’re not experiencing hardship, keep your eyes open a brother who may need your help.
Announcements, Thoughts & Prayers
- Badlands growth – considering a new AO plant
- Snuffy – blood work
- Drone – family hardship
- Big Bird – possible sciatica
- Earshot – discernment