Q pulled into the parking lot at Poseidon blasting a lil Linkin Park to set the tone. Jumanji and Bada Bing were caught bromantasizing about their run and future endeavors for the day. Q silently sipped his coffee and thought about his M lying in bed….then he noticed this ball of hair on a Tank of an object negotiating the parking lot obstacles towards Q. As this ball of hair approached, Q made out that it was in fact a human FNG with a smile on his face hidden behind the most impressive beard Q has seen to date! Q shook FNG’s hand and backed away in case a squirrel or a bird was currently calling this beard “home.” Sandcrab walked up with his grandson and introduced the lad to the PAX. Q noticed that hidden behind said grandson’s outer shell was a calm sense of confidence. This is one cool cucumber…or Pickle as we would later name him, and Q instantly talked trash to Sandcrab on Pickle’s behalf. Then, as if this asymmetric morning (and description thereof) couldn’t get any longer, two l–o–n–g fellows strolled up to the PAX – same height, haircutish, beard, demeanor…Shake N Bake (nice to meet you) brought his Kistanza twin FNG (to be named Aquaman).
More doors, more PAX, coffee gone time to do what we came here for.
THE DELAY MECHANISM (disclaimer – this is likely not an accurate description as Q makes this up every time – govern yourself and your comments accordingly):
SSH – 20
Murkins – 10
Mountain Climbers – 10
Iron Mikes – 10
Split into 2 Platoons
First Platoon = Murph minus last mile for time and well – the run is too easy
2.5 laps = 1 mile
Then go to The Square
Second Platoon = The Square – 4 cones 30 yards apart – split platoon into 4 groups and disperse equalish PAX to the cones
Cone 1 = 30 Burpees
Pom Poms (slow lunges all the way to the ground bows to toes) to next cone
Cone 2 = 30 Iron Mikes
Pom Poms to next cone
Cone 3 = 30 Burpees
Pom Poms to next cone
Cone 4 = 30 Iron Mikes
Go 1.5 around circumference then go to the Murph
Circa 50 minutes into the nonstop action of this workout, wounded warrior McDreamy graced the PAX with his presence and leadership. Q flipped McDreamy the exercise Icosahedron (each flat side had an exercise and rep amount printed on it).
Split into two lines facing McDreamy – nonstop SSHs while McDreamy whipped the Icosahedron (word of the day) at front man of the line. If caught, that line continued SSHs only. If dropped, that line had to do the exercise and reps. Q was in the wrong line as many burpees were had. Q generally has good hands…not today as Q DROPPED THE ICOSAHEDRON and contributed to the burpee line. As the Icosahedron (drilling this new word into your brain at this point – comedians (Seinfeld where you at?) call this technique “looping”) bounced of Q’s nubs, Peg’s voice echoed through the whispering pines “Are you kidding me?!”.
COT – named the FNG’s WELCOME TANK, DILL PICKLE AND AQUAMAN, prayers for McDreamy’s operation, Wrangler’s recovery and other silent prayers.
Brobucks rendezvous announced.
Everyone did well as this was an hour of constant motion. No partner, no break, no excuses.
Mumblechatter was limited at the beginning and picked up towards the end exponentially.
Dill Pickle – as predicted – was not phased at all.
Lost a PAX for a couple minutes during the MURPH – Zamboni was seen on his back, eyes closed and arms involuntarily reaching towards the heavens…blood flow eventually came back and he finished.
While doing pull-ups The Force faced Q and Q noticed that his face would turn violently red. Q pondered if The Force was indeed going to channel The Force on Q so Q moved behind Jumanji and out of harms way.
First Platoon had some questionable arithmetic on The Square.
Pom Pom decided to split the run of the MURPH up as well…didn’t know that was an option.
Dollar Bill also did not seem phased by this workout. Getting my vote for “Most Improved” as of now. Bumps!
Tank attempted to get up during Brobucks…his legs decided otherwise but didn’t bother sending signals to his melon…learned Tanks fall like trees sometimes…said melon may or may not have hit The Force’s chair which was across the isle and a table over!
This was solitary workout but Q was proud that the PAX helped one another continuously without instruction. Leaders leading! End was fun and communal. Thank you McDreamy.