At BOHICA on Thursday Heisenberg announced that other people should step up and take the Q from time to time instead of YHC and Gekko. Sounded like a complaint but I shrugged it off. Synapse complained that he would take more, but they were all gone. Well when you don’t plan ahead….but I digress….I had forgotten that I had Q for Anchor so on Friday morning I did the noble thing and offered it up to Synapse but by 3:00pm he still had not expressed interest, it was game on…..I had an idea of how it would start, but there was no way I would be able to predict what would happen in the middle……Drama, intrigue…pain!
Before I go further….there is a reason we start with the disclaimer. YHC did announce to exercise at your own risk. I believe I’m protected by law at this point. Back to the stuff.
Arm circle thingies
Michael Phelps……YHC announced we would be going on a field trip.
On Friday, YHC indicated that we would not need Cindy’s however we WOULD BE GOING ON A FIELD TRIP. Clear as day! Hey Big Papi asked if field trips were authorized and YHC replied they were with “a notarized note from yo momma.” To be clear, Hey Big Papi did not have said note from his momma. I’ll be needing that to be read into the record.
The THANG 1
We grabbed the flag and started some pearls on a string action, stopping at various locations along the way for rounds of “What would Jumanji do here?” “If you ever decided to step up and Q, what exercise would you do?” You know… wholesome fun stuff.
With the recent work to 5 points there were some sizable areas that needed to be broken in. Shorthorn and his FNG Pierre were very helpful!
Nothing too exciting happened, however at the base of the church we did some stuff and Heisenberg noticed a lot of filthy words being spewed. That Zamboni!!!
We finally reached the playground where the action intensified. YCH announced we would do a partner Murph and Lifo dubbed it the MORA! 100 pull ups, 200 Merkins, 300 squats. Partner 1 ran the loop around the playground whilst Partner 2 did the exercises. Believe it or not…it sucked just as much as the solo murph….
Well that was truly the end of anything YHC had planned. And as we all know (or should know) once I start making shit up, bad things happen. Today was no exception. There was a lot of playground equipment and while I can’t for certain say who said it…..I heard “hey there’s a rock climbing wall….”
And then it happened. I had to borrow from Hey Big Papi’s eloquent language and yell out STFU a couple of times with the instructions to line up. Pax would Bear Crawl to the wall and climb up and over. Someone asked if it was safe….maybe Gekko? I immediately appointed him to go first to see. Certainly he’s got insurance….
YHC did make it clear to have a spotter on the other side in case of….you know….incidents. Too bad we didn’t have an airbag. Oh well.
YHC made it up and over, a few PAX discovered some loose hand/foot holds and we tried to make those known as PAX came up and over.
During my time in California, I lived thru a couple of earthquakes. Some were tremors and really not bad at all. The Northridge earthquake on January 17, 1994 was something else. The apartment my M and I occupied in Irvine California swayed to and fro for 15 seconds and the walls undulated. The ground shook so violently…….Keep that thought in your minds gentlemen.
So back to the action….all was going seemingly well on the wall, PAX were spotting and using the foot/hand holds reasonably well. Until he came. Hey Big Papi is a crusty sumbitch. Can we all agree to that? Exhibit A, would the court reflect the Slack message where the Q did announce the need for a note from your momma? And would the court reflect that Hey Big Papi DID NOT HAVE A NOTE?
So YCH is on the back side of the wall spotting and first thing I noticed when HBP swung his leg over was that’s not a small butt. No sir, not at all. So the other leg comes over and one would think in a situation like this, “hey where do I put my feet?” Some engineer went to a lot of trouble to place these foot holds so one can climb down incrementally. Not this guy. So he’s hanging there from his hands and the second thing that I noticed was….don’t stand right behind him. I wasn’t.
The next thing that happened was truly amazing. HBP does what the f he wants and I suppose in this instance he wanted off that F’ing wall, so he just let go. Down comes this beautiful specimen of a marine full force, telling gravity to STFU! And then he hit the ground.
Remember the Northridge quake I spoke of earlier? Kinda like that. Yeah.
So I’m watching this in slow motion and HBP’s knees buckle and down he goes. My thoughts in the following order.
- Glad I wasn’t behind him.
- Did I remember to give the disclaimer? Yes! Good!
- Hey are you ok?
He grimaced for a bit, but then the crusty ass marine got up, walked it off and declared he is OK, so on we went.
YHC wanted to put that nastiness behind us so we grabbed the flag and started the mosey back.
More pearls on a string action that included burpees. It should be noted that at the end of the burpees, Boucher had created a sweat pond.
Back the intersection formally known as 5 points, YCH heard Rosinbag say “Monkey Humpers would be good here.” So we did.
Nothing like grown men doing a public display of Monkey Humpers, Alabama Prom Dates, Birth Canals and Asgards/No-no’s in broad daylight.
We made use of the wall behind Al’s pizza for Derkins, then Wheel of Merkins, then Rocky Balboas before heading back to the AO proper.
YHC noticed we still had time so he asked Brexit what he would do here. “Something with a Cindy, which we don’t have…” Brilliant……
YHC noticed a large chunk of concrete that had been used in weeks prior so he asked Boucher to chuck it as far as he could and we would bear crawl towards it. That was Synapse’s contribution.
We did that for while and then finished the whole debacle of a beatdown with Circle Burpee’s (At this point we had been joined by Septum, Mr. Woodchuck and Bert. Thanks for watching us do Burpees, Bert!)
Finished with Counting and Naming and announcements….YHC left the PAX with 2 quotes:
“It is not external events themselves that cause us distress, but the way in which we think about them…It is our attitudes and reactions that give us trouble. We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them.” Epictetus
“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.” Friedrich Nietzsche