Badlands + Chuck Norris Roundhouse = Excellence!

Posted on Posted in Backblasts
  • When: 12/26/17
  • QIC: MadHatter
  • The PAX: Tinker Toy, Tinkle, Full Monty, (respect), Dollar Bill, Airbags (respect), Wahoo, Osteen, Snooky, Happy Feet, Check Please, Crash, Skim, Zamboni (respect), Rim Shot, McDreamy (respect) and Madhatter

All the presents are opened and the families snuggled in bed from a holiday season of festivus.  For 16 Badlanders that wasn’t good enough as we showed up in the Gloom to continue the pursuit of “Discipline = Freedom”.  With a soft melody of classic rock streaming in the background the warm-ups and welcomes didn’t last long:


Goal was to bring some heavy influential motivators into conversation as we have but a few days till 2018.

You have to push past your perceived limits, push past that point you thought was as far as you can go.”– Drew Brees

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris doesn’t churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.


Global Warming: In Cadence, Al Gore and shuffle for 10 seconds to right then 3 merkins, 3 squats, 3 burpees, back to Al Gore and shuffle left for 10 seconds and repeat.  Rinse and repeat 4 times each side.

Howling Monkey: Group holds Monkey Humper position as each Badlander does 10 monkey humpers till the complete circle has each done 10 each.

Finkle Swings: Thanks to Full Monty these were done properly 5x

Captain Morgans or Peter Parkers?  Who really knows the difference but we did 10x then planked and right into Mountain Climbers 15x

Dan Taylor: 1:4 Squat:Lunge workout though lack of Q leadership and Badlanders skills in simple math seemed to make me rethink OYO isn’t best option for Dan Taylors

There comes a certain point in life when you have to stop blaming other people for how you feel or the misfortunes in your life. You can’t go through life obsessing about what might have been.”– Hugh Jackman

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably. 

Mosey to the baseball fence and in groups of 3, we performed UP CHUCKS.  One man on inside (Monkey Humpers) of fence, one man on outside (Peter Parkers) of fence while third man climbed over fence.  Each man needed to go over 10x then we recovered.

In a sprint (of excitement? for what’s next) to the next parking lot we lined up for next exercises:

Curb to Curb sprint, then 10 Merkins, Curb to Curb sprint then 10 burpees, Curb to Curb lunge then plank Mosey back and repeat but opposite order.  Mosey back and at last curb to curb Bear Crawl.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Lined up we continued on to perfect our Jelly Leg feelings with a Squat then Hundreds (only do 25) with a count up of 3, 6, 9, 12…30 squats.

Lined up with duck walks while back man Indian ran to the front.  Sprinted back to curb and then mosey to starting location.

Finished in cadence with pushups/shoulder press from 1 to 8 and then back to 1.


Continue to encourage the development and growth of Poseidan!  McDreamy offered impromptu F2 at Starbucks which was a great way to close out the day after Christmas workout!

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Most people give up right before the big break comes—don’t let that person be you.”– Michael Boyle



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